I wanna be the ubiquitous me

   I wanna be the crazy snow flakes falling beneath on earth on a winter night
   I wanna be the splashing waters of a thousand rivers

   I wanna be the rain drops on an arid earth

   I wanna be the bright hues of spring, spattered and splurged everywhere on the canvas of nature

   I wanna be the  flowers upon a green meadow

   And I just wanna be everywhere u are , thy omnipresent God

   I wanna be those memoirs , both sad and in happier times , that make ourselves what we are

   I wanna be those torn out pages of the memory frame

   That make up contemplation

   I wanna be the strange emotions of human nature

   I wanna permeate those barriers of the mind and dig in to the depths of our thought processes

   I wanna be the dreams , the imaginations and the reveries on a summer night

   I wanna be the cozy warmth of those crackling flames in the fireside on a winter night

   And I wanna be the love and rejoices of Christmas eve

  I just wanna lie inside myself for hours

  In my make believe world of imagination

  I wanna be like the icon of imagery light

  That lights away the dark of our lives ...

    At times when she would be lost amidst desires not met

    When she would be confiscated of virtually every plausible ‘glorious ‘ event

     When aimlessly groping her way through the dark alleys of her life

     Thinking then where to escalate the unresolved situation to

     That she takes a moment to contemplate and remain in silent prayers

     That she thinks about God being her only true friend ?

     She kneels and she prays with clasped hands , eyes closed with an unheard voice

     She pleads for the ultimate verdict of the elusive heavens

     Knowing not whether God answers her meager prayers

     Knowing not whether the faint rays of good expectations would illuminate her damn life once again

     Knowing not where the rivers of life would lead her to

     Yet believing upon the omnipresent ‘faith ‘

      Believing upon the power of prayers

      She awaits the verdict of the heavens

      And moments pass by …

      And may be someday is a dismal day, someday is a bright day

      And someday the rains would fall to wash away her tears

      Yet is her prayer answered ?

      Did she get the ultimate verdict of her deplorable life ?

      We know not …

      Yet we know her story is a song of life

       Her story, the untold myths of life

      And her story, not that of simple faith

      But profoundness , unblemished belief

      Her story, though not of an optimistic tone

      Neither a pessimist though

      Her story,just  a torn out page from the ‘ wikipedia ‘ of life

      That has a bitter sweet sadness in it

      Let’s not ignore it !

We exist within the limitations of space and time. While we may define the entity space in terms of 3-D co-ordinates or even fourth dimensional space as in some higher sciences, we are however confined within the boundaries of the 3-D coordinate space. I am not quite sure if 4-D space , the same as virtual reality in terms of cyber space ? whatsoever, we are incapable of conceptualizing it by physical touch and actually being in it .

Though present day science defines time in terms of relativistic theories, for such layman as ourselves, we visualize time as some sort of a work flow surging forward , that is, we moving forward with time , time progresses , we grow and move on , we cannot possibly get back what we have lost on the progression of the time scale. Simply speaking, we quite incapable of backtracking except in our memoirs on the parameter time .

And life ? It is , I believe an aggregation of our growth within those boundaries of space and time . We live on this beautiful earth , once again a space and are guided by the principles of our home planet within the plenoptics of time . We are all inherently accustomed to seeing the sunrise in the eastern horizon and the sun set in the west, we are accustomed to seeing our shadows on the earth beneath our feet , cast by the sun, grow or shrink in size with the various inclinations of the sun throughout the day , once again the time factor. And at the end of the day, gazing at the endless expanse of a star studded gorgeous sky above our heads, don’t we all feel the infiniteness  of this void , something very difficult to conceptualize?  

Though some people say that when we all die , we are not lost, in the sense that we are nothing but an integral part of this massive energy of the cosmos, being thrust in this fierce, fine world of ours from time to time to encounter this enigma named life, as we stare spell bound at the nocturnal beau of the skies, our limitations of the mind frame, within the parameters of space and time, make us all but realize “ WE CAN’T BE WHAT 'WE' ARE “ .  We might be , as many believe , a part of the cosmos , a part of indestructible energy , yet as long as we live , we can never be this hypothetical “ we “.

  Those were the times; the winds of change would suffice it all

  When though  I would yearn for some subtle disposition of my mind

   Things wouldn’t turn up the right way at the right time

   It seemed though in such dire moments as if the world was upside down

   With not an iota of empathy to be found anywhere

   And I was alone and alone , sailing like a buoyant ship with navigation lost in fathomless waters

   Yet was there some thing within me ? some desperate urge to survive in the event of getting lost in this big , bad world of ours ?

   What was that strange motivation that surges me forward thro’ the crevices and pitfalls of  life ?

  I know not, yet I believe in me , my life , I believe not in hypocrisy

  I believe in love and let love, and I believe in live and let live

  And I don’t wanna  die alone , having lost the battle of life

  I wanna make people surrounding me hear my cries of joy

  I wanna have people revel in my moments of happiness

  I just wanna make people realize the dominant “ we “ factor in our lives

  That we belong together , in our  stride of life

  And in our moments of tribulation, we work the “black seam together “

  We live for one another and are existent dependent

  And we’d fall apart if this humane chain of love and fellow feeling be broken

  We belong, we belong together

  A rainy day, with a cloud filled sky and fluctuations of drizzles and occasional showers

  Thunder rumbling in the distant skies

  Moments of quiet contemplation , reflective alike

  Such thoughts on my mind ?

  A forlorn heart , crying out with an unheard voice

  A desperate soul in solitude seeking escape from melancholy on a dismal day

  Sitting on a cozy arm chair , munching pop corns and watching the rains fall by

  By the window pane , the little drops of water coalesce to form a bigger drop of rain

  That drench the leaves of some unknown tree by the window side

  Strong gushes of the wind at times

  The leaves borne away from trees by those sudden gusts

  The solitary afternoon  no sooner giving way to the dark hours

  The radiance of the day light fading out ….

  The street lights burning by

  The rain doesn’t cease by

  The window pane appears smoggy , the rains patter

  The street lights appear shimmering thro’ the moistened glass

  Cars speeding past the roads with their headlights on

  Those lights of the vehicles scattered by the rain drops

  Like almost a prismatic effect  rendered by the rain and the atmosphere , the lights

  Could almost set your mind reeling  into imagination

   And you be carried away with into a world of make believe

  And after the rains ? Life moves on like it used to be

  The rains just giving ourselves wings to fly in our imaginations

  Pluming and proliferating the imaginative …

   When the sun would be shining , with glaring intensity

    Even in the dark hours of the night

    When the moon would usher its luster as well in the nocturnal haze

     On a starry night , in such a juncture of the war of the celestial bodies

     As I stand , all alone, confronting life , both the triumphs and the debacles

     Both the good and the bad times , the joy and the pain, the laughter and the cries

     I ask within myself “ Who am I “ ?

     Am I a part of the brilliant rays of the sun that lights away the dark ?

     Am I just a part of the soft luminance of the moon ?

     Like an angel’s lullaby , so tranquil, soothing and mesmerizing ?

     And as I stand facing the endless expanse of the skies

     I have confidence and confidence within me to answer but this question

     “ Who am I “ ?

    May be I’d live not after this very day, or may be I’d live life insignificantly

    Yet I wanna know “ Who am I “ ?

    Reflections of urself in the looking glass, is deceptive, u know

    U get what u look like, lest u don’t get what ur heart speaks of

    Crumbling shadows even in the naturescape, on the waters

    Speak not the truth , coz they give the impression of a “broken” thyself

    The shadows not uniform but broken and jarred in outline

    Yet am I so broken and dilapidated ?

     Yet when I stand confronting life on a starry night

      In my own world of the imaginary sun and moon shining on such a night

      To dispel away the prevailing dark

      Do I get the answer to “ Who am I “ ?

      I dun no,  yet I believe in life and living , I believe in myself

      I believe in keeping alive my aspirations , the zeal of life

      I believe I’m nature’ child , living in the laps of nature

      And one day even when I would live no more

      My memories will …. Sung by these forces of nature

      And I dun no whether I’d find out “ who am I “ ?

      Coz I dun no if I would presumably “ live upon the plenoptics of a different world “

      Even when I exist no more upon thy home planet

      Yet I believe upon the Supreme, He Who is our creator

      May be I’d be then a part of that celestial plangent light that impacts every soul

      And then will I find out “ Who am I “ ?

   I  owe u something , if not everything in life

   Lest be vanquished, and perished beneath the pressures of stressful life

   Lest destiny does ourselves apart

   I wanna say that I owe u something ….

   To u, my friend , I owe u love

   I owe u respect and faith

   Coz whenever I sought a little help and asked u for it

   U enveloped me in ur warmth of love and support

   And never let me feel the dearth of that ‘something’

  ‘ U gave me wings and made me fly ‘ in my imagination

  ‘ U  touched my hand and I could touch the skies ‘

   U never betrayed me in life

  WE,  u and me , my friend belong to  those attributes in life

   That are precious in themselves, much besought after and valuable

   Let’s not break apart this ‘ circle of love, faith and benevolence ‘

   Even if we exist no more

   Our memories will ‘ live ‘

   We all walk the strides of life thro’ this circle of attributes

   We meet  at common places and share our love and fellow feelings

   Yet we ain’t lost

   We meet again and again ….   

   We owe ‘ something ‘ to ourselves ….

    The midnight hour has struck

    The night lamp flickering and flinching in intensity

    Yet just adept enough to glint away the prevailing dark

     Silence looms large, intensifying the depths of solitude that now prevails

     There’s not a soul lurking by

     Not even a nocturnal bird flies out of its cozy nest in quest of supper

     All is quiet … the wall clock ticking away could be heard rupturing the deafening silence  of the nights

    In those deathly hours of the dark, ‘ she’ doesn’t sleep but is reflective

    Sitting alone by the window pane, ‘she’ try to capture the awe and beau of the desolate night

   She ponders about lost moments , and the present moments of her life

   Whence her life flows by like a river in the dark …..

    Whence she would be possibly lost amidst those tepid waters of that river , lost and groping her way out in the dark

    Yet the convulsive back pull of the destined forces pull her back ….

    She can’t find her way out

    ……………………………………..

   And as the night fazes out and a bright dawn awaken each day

   As the sun rises ‘ from amidst those depths of the river ‘, it seems though

   Is there a change ?

   She finds her way out from the looming dark

   She heave a sigh as she find her way out from those destined forces of destiny

   Coz optimism marks the day … a positive attitude to life ushers in

   And every night that’s quite a glum night

   She’d be awake by the night lamp flickering by

   Only wishing if the intensity was sufficient to light away the dark both within and outside

   To light away the dark of her life in the midst of the dark of the night